Criticism, not anti-Semitism

LETTER TO THE WEST AUSTRALIAN (not published)

Reading the various reports recently about prominent ALP criticism of Israel raising the ire of Australian Jews has me concluding that some followers of Judaism (fortunately not the ones I know and respect) are a little too precious about their religious homeland. A land that is also of important significance to believers in Christianity and Islam.

Since when do Australian Anglicans get upset at criticism of UK policy? Do our Italian migrants or numerous Catholics claim bigotry when the world criticises the Vatican? Clearly, no, on both counts! But somehow Israel seeks special immunity to criticism, at least in the eyes of these few descendants of Abraham.

At the present time the world is vary wary of, if not prone to condemning, religious states. Why should Israel be any different? It is in breach of more UN resolutions than Afghanistan ever was under the Taliban. Israel deserves to be rebuked while it continues to be an aggressor-occupier.

I echo the words of Harry S. Truman in his recently discovered diary (West Australian, Sat 12/07/03) "Put an underdog on top ... and he goes haywire".

Glass - half full or half empty?

I was thinking about the glass half-full or half-empty paradigm. It occurred to me that perhaps it doesn't matter whether one sees it as half-full or half-empty. The key is in the choice we make in dealing with that situation.

Some people will feel the need to conserve and protect the status quo to minimise further loss. i.e. this is the glass we have, its our glass and regardless of whether the liquid is no longer at optimum temperature, has lost its fizz, gone stale or otherwise tastes awful it is still half a glass and its our glass!

I'm inclined to realise the limitations of a half-full (or half-empty) glass and take action to replenish the glass - i.e. change must occur by topping up the current glass or getting a new full glass to replace it - perhaps even a bigger glass, or one that is better designed for our purpose.

I have a favourite saying that I live by - "Change will only occur when the pain of change is less than than the pain of staying the same."

That is my philosophy lesson for today.

Cheers! *hic*

Identity, Behaviour and Characteristics

I believe that most of society confuses behaviour with identity or characteristics in a reckless and disrespectful manner. A person (regardless of sex, gender or sexuality) can display homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual or asexual behaviours and these can be separate or in conjunction with one or more other behaviours.

A person's (sexual) identity is something personal, but which can be influenced by peers and external influences.

A person's characteristics (eg flamboyancy, fashion, genes, language, mannerisms etc) can be congruent or juxtaposed with their sexual identity and/or their sexual behaviour - that is how we arrive at stereotypes. As such, society tends to make judgements and label individuals primarily based upon their characteristics (first impressions), secondly by their behaviours (if known) and rarely on their chosen identity.

That is a simplified argument, but it is how I look at the world. That is why I never assume a person's identity based upon their behaviour or characteristics, but only upon what they tell me. It is not for me to label someone bisexual or transgender or androgyne. If they want such a label I trust that they will offer it freely.

Of course the problem is that our society is so hung up on the gender binary that we are often forced to label something or someone male or female. We can just as easily get that wrong as we can other aspects of people's identity. What do you tell a 5 year old child who points to a feminine person at Fair Day and asks "Is that a boy or a girl?"

"Well, dear, that depends on .... "

The same goes for sexuality, I think. Who can be the judge of your own identity?

Australian Family Association

I went to one of their meetings once (in a business suit, removed my earring and placed my ring on my left hand to look as heterosexual as the next person!). The first thing that confronted me was that one wall had a giant wooden cross with some guy nailed to it ... I think it might have been the last poofter to have dared to try and infiltrate their inner sanctum.

The next thing that shocked me was 5 minutes of prayer asking for guidance and promoting love and peace etc ... then followed by a wave of intolerance and hate. The vilest of these people was Joan Torr.

Many people in WA would remember Joan as the elderly woman that was severely beaten and left for dead after a botched burglary in her home. After that she started a law and order campaign ("Joan Torr's Army") and was a candidate in a state election. She had a lot of support and I admired her courage. That is until the AFA meeting where I discovered her vile tongue and spiteful, ignorant mind!

I've never met anyone before, or since, that I would describe as being evil. I don't believe that people are inherently good or evil, those traits are learned behaviour. But she comes the closest to representing evil that I've ever encountered!

It was a very sad, but enlightening experience.

US Bastardises Democracy in Iraq

Dear Editor (Sydney Morning Herald),

Brokering the outcome of any election ("US tries limited elections in Mosul") simply undermines the foundations of democracy.

The USA might as well just appoint their preferred candidates and be done with it, rather than following through on this charade!

First they invade Iraq under the pretext of a pre-emptive strike because of unsubstantiated fears that illegal WMDs exist. Then they FORCE democracy upon a nation, just like Christianity was enforced during the Crusades.

Not content with having 'won liberty for Iraq', the USA changes the rules of democracy to ensure that one section of the community is able to dominate the interim government to "reduce ethnic tensions". And finally they deny ordinary citizens their basic right to vote by instead appointing an elite group of 200 'representatives' to take part in the ballot.

Can we expect that the US will also decide who the candidates should be?

It smacks of hypocrisy and complete disregard for the principles of democracy. I also can't help but notice the similarity with the structure of Meg Lees' new Australian Progressive Alliance.

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Artificial Conception

A RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION:

"Do you think that children conceived from donor sperm
have a harder time in general as they grow up?"

As a biological father, a parent and a potential sperm donor I have thought about this a fair bit over the last 12 - 15 months. I can only conclude that there needs to be firm decision between the relevant parties, ideally in the form of a legally binding contract so that each party understands the level of responsibility they may or may not have.

What should always be at the foremost in our minds is the best interests of the child.

It is impossible to predict the future or try to envisage how the child might feel about being the product of what might be seen to be a medical manufacturing process rather than an act of natural procreation between a loving heterosexual couple.

But this is where the argument against queer couples using artificial conception or adoption begins to fall apart.

I think we all agree that loving parents (regardless of biological or marital status) are more important to a child's happiness and welfare than any other single factor (including wealth, education, health etc). I cringe every time I hear a parent jokingly comment that their child was "a little mistake" because they forgot to use contraception or the pill didn't work. No child should ever be considered a mistake, even in jest.

So with that in mind, I would say it is irrelevant whether one chooses to use a known or unknown donor or what type of relationship is negotiated between the parties. What is important is that all parties are happy with the decision and abide by it. That decision is going to be different for each individual.

I would also recommend being honest with the child from an early age. Reinforce the fact that they are loved and how special it was that they were conceived in such a way. Remember that it takes a lot more thought, effort and money to use artificial conception than it is to get knocked up in the back of the Holden at the drive-ins ;-)

Be proud that your child is special and they will be proud to have such special mothers. They might also have a special male in their life that they may or may not call Dad that helped give them life, but always remember that to a child it is the parents that matter, not who supplied the genes.

Having the option to identify with the donor at some stage in their life is worthwhile, but they may never take up that opportunity if they are content with what they have in their real family. Even anonymous donors can be identified at a later stage if it is the wish of both parties.

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Conflict and Peace

A RESPONSE TO A PERSON WHO WAS CRITICAL OF CONFLICT AND HURT, YET WAS HYPOCRITICAL IN HER STANCE AS SHE OFTEN PROVOKED CONFLICT.

It reminds me of your introduction message when you promoted the TEAM mantra - Together Everyone Achieves More.

Of course, working together works best when everyone is equal and treats each other with equal respect. But in order to get equality (or freedom or truth or justice) one often needs to fight. And in any battle someone often gets hurt.

There are many words of wisdom in the world ... at least one for each cause (good and evil). Often the difficulty is not in living by the mantra (anyone can blindly follow), but in determining what truth lies beneath the inspiring anthem and pretty coloured flags.

"Truth, justice and the American way" is the mantra proudly voiced from beneath the star spangled banner of the USA flag and its well known anthem. But truth and justice are now seen to be rare privileges in that nation and they mean to bring this "American way" to the rest of the world without regard for the free will of others.

One of my favourite quotations is from Martin Luther King Jr, who said:

"True peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice."

War can be avoided, conflict cannot. If we all were to have the same beliefs, goals and ideals then the world would be a most boring place. With diversity we will always have conflict. What is important is ensuring that truth and justice prevail over lies, corruption and power.

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Rosa Parks

The first of December should be a national holiday in America as it was on this day in 1955 that a seamstress refused to move to the back of a public bus in Montgomery, Alabama.


The law said she had to move because her skin color was black. Her singular act of courage rocked the nation and started a revolution.


This woman, Rosa Parks, ... is an important reminder that the great changes in society occur when one or two people of conscience act.

- Michael Moore, _Stupid White Men..._, p. xv

Diversity ... not Normalcy

"Normal" is a word best left to the right wing religious fundamentalists who can't see past their own rose coloured glasses and white-picket fence ;-)

Heteronormativity should be opposed every step of the way by straights and queers alike. If there was such a thing as "queernormativity" I would equally oppose that
concept too!

Diversity is the only concept we should be promoting.

I came to the same conclusion about the refugee debate. Refugee activist groups were playing on the "they are the same as us" line, and that failed to wash with the majority of conservative Australians because they failed to see the similarities and instead focussed on the differences.

Yet it is the differences that should be highlighted to ensure that the average Jo Citizen is educated in the need for multiculturalism, diversity of sexuality, gender variance, racial harmony and religious acceptance.

Tolerance is about seeing the differences but grudgingly putting up with them because the law or the culture expects you to accommodate everyone. Respect is about understanding that the differences exist and supporting the individual's rights of human expression and being, often in spite of the prevailing law or culture.

Sport or War?

The international live coverage is exceptional on the syndicated "Wide World of War", even if it might be a little biased in favour of the visiting team, the Coalition Invaders.

We are nearing the end of the first quarter in this game with the Invaders clearly ahead on points over the Baghdad Baddies. However the home team appear to be holding back, perhaps leading the Invaders into a false sense of security and saving their best for a powerful battle at the halfway mark.

There have been numerous allegations from the coalition team claiming that the Baghdaddies are using or intending to use banned performance enhancing systems, but so far the independent inspectors have not been able to detect anything. There was even allegations that the team were intending to supply these enhancements to other teams for future games against the Coalition in the World Domination Cup.

Sportsmanship is all important and this type of aggressive behaviour from the world champions can only be considered as underhanded, unfair and unjustified play.

Some may call me a traitor, but I'm changing my allegiance and will be barracking for the underdog in this game.

It is about time that the coalition got a massive whoopin' as they've been getting more arrogant in the last few seasons. As the world watches intently, the question on many spectators' lips is "Whose your Baghdaddy?" !!

Iraq, Iraq, Iraq ... oil, oil, oil!!

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Phobia vs ism

REGARDING THE LIMITATION OF USING THE TERM "HOMOPHOBIA"

Wouldn't it be just easier to talk about and use the terms "heterosexism"(1) and "heteronormativity"(2)? Of course this might take some education, but it is inclusive and more accurate terminology.

Most acts of discrimination, vilification and yobbish behaviour are not homophobia, biphobia or transphobia (all being the fear of 'x') but are resultant from attitudes of normalcy or even superiority from a heterosexual perspective.

It is the same attitudes that cause sexism, racism, nazism, anti-semitism etc. It is definitely an ism rather than a phobia. Even though there are a few clinical phobics out there, those people are more likely to shun us or campaign against us rather than attack.

Focussing on 'anti-gay', 'anti-lesbian' or even 'anti-bi' or 'anti-trans' behaviour is not appropriate because the specificity of these focal points always means that a fringe group is left out. Using the term homophobia to try and encompass all the above is also incorrect and reduces the visibility of key segments. What about the heterosexual transvestite or the straight fag hag?

The English language is poor by anyone's definition, but the best terms that I know (when explained correctly) are heterosexism and heteronormativity. They also put the problem fairly and squarely on the perpetrators, being (generally speaking) the hetero side of the fence, rather than focussing on the identity of the victims.

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As I state in one of my personal signature file, "End heterosexism - embrace diversity".

(1) HETEROSEXISM

The assumption that everyone is a heterosexual until it is otherwise known and that being heterosexual is the proper sexual orientation.

(2) HETERONORMATIVE

the prevailing culture that falsely views heterosexuality as ‘normal’ behaviour and alternative sexuality or gender identity as deviant. i.e. the nuclear family on the qtr acre block with a white picket fence, a dog, cat and a Holden Commodore is considered heteronormative. Anyone falling outside the "norms" characterised by a generalised view of heterosexual society would be considered non-heteronormative.

Here is a more detailed definition of the concept:

By heteronormativity we mean the institutions, structures of understanding, and practical orientations that make heterosexuality seem not only coherent--that is, organized as a sexuality--but also privileged.


Its coherence is always provisional, and its privilege can take several (sometimes contradictory) forms; unmarked, as the basic idiom of the personal and the social; or marked as a natural state; or projected as an ideal or moral accomplishment.


It consists less of norms that could be summarized as a body of doctrine than of a sense of rightness produced in contradictory manifestations--often unconscious, immanent to practice or to institutions. Contexts that have little visible relation to sex practice, such as life narrative and generational identity, can be heteronormative in this sense, while in other contexts forms of sex between men and women might not be heteronormative.


Heteronormativity is thus a concept distinct from heterosexuality. One of the most conspicuous differences is that it has no parallel, unlike heterosexuality, which organizes homosexuality as its opposite. Because homosexuality can never have the invisible, tacit, society-founding rightness that heterosexuality has, it would not be possible to speak of "homonormativity" in the same sense.


See Michael Warner, "fear of a Queer Planet," Social Text, no. 29 (1991): 3-17."

Source: University of Chicago

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Leader or Lap Dog?

LETTER SENT TO VARIOUS NEWSPAPERS AND CC'D TO THE GOVERNOR GENERAL

Where is the representative of our Head of State, the Commander in Chief of the armed forces, our Governor General, His Excellency Dr Hollingworth? What are we paying him for?

Surely a man of conviction with thought and care for the human casualties of war, especially a former Archbishop of a Christian sect, would be at pains to command such an unnecessary and unjust invasion of another nation?

He has the power to stop Australian participation in a conflict with Iraq and he has the power to sack the Prime Minister.

Then again, Peter is just another political appointee playing the dutiful role of yes-man to a loyal US lap-dog!

Heel, boy! ... sit! ... good dog!

Why are world leaders so gung ho for war?

Even more disappointing and of greater concern to me, was watching a television news report which had a brief interview with one of the UK servicemen in the Middle East.

He happily stated that the forces were ready and would be very disappointed if they were sent home without going to war!

If that guy is so eager to potentially get himself killed, or worse, murder hundreds or thousands of Iraqis, then I must concede that I can have no faith in the integrity of our armed forces.

It seems that the rumours of brainwashing troops to be gung-ho killers is not absent of some truth.

What a sad world we live in.

IF ...

IN RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION:

"IF you could ensure that your children never have one experience that you have had, what would it be?"

I never want my Sophie to ever, even for a split second, think that she isn't loved.

There is nothing worse than that moment in time when you feel there is no-one you can talk to, who is willing to listen and cares enough to just hold you without actually having to say anything in particular.

I hope she never doubts the unconditional love her family will always provide.

Happy Birthday Richard!

My Rock

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My Rock

The tuft of brown, grassy hair

caressed by the wind as it catches the sun’s golden hue

seems to radiate like sparks from atop the mountain peak

A stark cliff falls away silently in front

finely polished by the elements, erasing any evidence of time

the rock is still young but daringly announces its presence

Peaceful, inviting caverns

set deep beneath the rim of the precipice

wise eyes keeping watch, reflecting an inner tranquillity

The contoured pink granite face,

moulded like clay in the hands of a gifted sculptor from another aeon,

bereft of unnecessary action, there are no sudden, unforseen tremors

A sturdy, reliable rock

Neither treacherous nor unyielding, he invites and willingly succumbs

appreciated by all who bear witness and by those who welcome his embrace

My rock, steadfast and true

A towering mountain of strength, sheltering me with a calm presence

The flawless reality of perfect love and constant companionship

Happy birthday to my darling Richard!

18 February 2003

Dare!

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Dare!!

Dare to think and to challenge,


experience, question, and admire,


take wonder; be amazed; stand in awe,


believe and hope and dream.

Just dare to do it when others can't be bothered or have given up and just know that every individual has the power to move mountains.

Apathy, hopelessness and fear create a slow and painful death.


While passion, hope and courage create a fast and fulfilled life.

Written 18 February 2003

Support and Caution

As we come to terms with the horrific acts of violence around the globe I want to share with all citizens of our small Earth the following words of support and caution, written shortly after 11 September 2001:

Empathise with the unspeakable pain and loss,
but refrain from words and acts of bigoted anger
Acknowledge the need for swift and certain justice,
but quell the voice of revenge and retribution
Honour the victims and provide solace to those they loved,
but protect all people from wrongful blame or premature judgement
And above all, no matter what the future holds,
gain strength from hope (or faith) and let peace prevail.

Misandry

IN RESPONSE TO SOMEONE WHO WROTE:

"The Lesbian mother's groups I've attempted to contact in the past have been ..er.. shall we say less than welcoming to someone who doesn't hate her husband."

Aaahh .... misandry - A rare condition, caused by an unidentified irritant, believed to be responsible for the rise of feminist separatists. Reported cases have been decreasing since the epidemic of the 1970s, although pockets of infection can still be seen amongst the queer community.

A similar condition, mysogyny, has been more widely reported throughout history, having once existed in significant numbers of the male population. Recent infections have tended to be limited to religious groups, especially in developing or under-developed nations, however isolated cases are often discovered among the queer community.

Symptoms of both infections are generally referred to as sexism or genderism, but can present themselves as heterosexism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and other conditions.

Dr Collin ;-)

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