ADVICE GIVEN TO SOMEONE WHO WAS CONCERNED ABOUT NOT "FITTING IN" WITH THE LESBIAN COMMUNITY
Take the time to enjoy being a round peg in a square hole. It is well worth realising and appreciating that you are different and that you don't "fit" the norms that society imposes on us.
Remember also that being a round peg in a square hole also means that you have a bit more space around you and you won't feel so confined ;-) If we all fitted in perfectly there would be no room to move and express our own personality.
And don't think that the queer community is immune from 'norms', expectations, peer pressure and cliques. We are the worst for discriminating and vilifying those who aren't like 'us'.
Just try listing all the different labels our community has adopted ... lipstick lesbians, drag queens & kings, rice queens, potato queens, butch, leather, bears, disco bunnies, etc. Fortunately it is improving with time, but human nature will always resort to defining a person by their appearance and actions in order to put them in a 'box'.
Being outside of the mainstream society has a number of problems, but it also has a number of benefits. In time you will gain the confidence to be yourself, not the person society, your peers or family expect.
In the words of the great philosophers (Monty Python):
"We are all individuals!"
... "But I'm not!"
